Top 10 Signs You're Not Going to Win the NYC Marathon

Courtesy of David Letterman's Top Ten Lists)

10. You've been "training" at Blimpie'

9. Losing precious minutes with your frequent Marlboro breaks.

8. Your favorite three words in the English language are "more pie, please."

7. You got stuck behind Al Sharpton

6. Instead of Gatorade, you drink Zima

5. Before you've gone two miles, one of your four inch heels snaps off.

4. Instead of Eye of the Tiger, you've got the dull stare of the dairy cow

3. Every time you bend over to tie your shoes, you cramp up.

2. You run several feel then puke your ever loving guts out

1. You've just finished last year's marathon.